I love stories like this, LX

Subtitle: You just can't make this stuff up! In Wisconsin, no less, good ol' blue state Wisconsin (gag me!), a questionnaire given to Port Washington High School students asked questions like this:

If you have never slept with someone of your same gender, then how do you know you wouldn't prefer it?

Well, I certainly know that I'd prefer not to be asked a question like that! I suppose that just goes to show how repressed I am.

The questionnaire was distributed by a student organization, which then led a full class-period discussion. Two teachers approved distribution of the survey. The principal did not.

Parent Lisa Krier on Monday called for the two teachers to be disciplined, saying the survey was a form of sexual harassment by teachers against students.

"If somebody doesn't call them on it, it will continue," she said.

There was the standard adminstrativese:

Both Principal Duane Woelfel and Patty Ruth, president of the Port Washington-Saukville School Board, said the survey was inappropriate and that proper authorization was not given before it was brought into classrooms.

"The message that really needs to go out at this point is that this administration will ensure that this type of survey will never go out again," Ruth said.

The principal said he was not aware of the survey until a parent gave him a copy a day after it was distributed.

"We were extremely concerned when we found out about it, and we're going to make sure that it doesn't happen again," Woelfel said.

Woelfel said that the Students for Unity's goal of trying to prevent harassment of all people with "alternative lifestyles" is good but that the survey was not appropriate. The two teachers "are very remorseful," he said.

But wait! There's more! If you think that first question was a doozy, get a load of these!

Some of the questions apparently were intended to make heterosexuals understand what it's like to be gay or lesbian. Those questions included: "What do you think caused your heterosexuality?" and "When did you decide you were heterosexual?"

You can't make this stuff up!!

More administrativese:

Students in the group presenting the survey were trying to convey that "students who have an alternative lifestyle get asked these questions every day, so please be considerate. It was an exercise in compassion and understanding that did not work out real well," Woelfel said.

This was all done as a run-up to the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network's national Day of Silence on April 25th.

I suppose since teenagers are Erlenmeyer flasks sloshing with super-heated hormones that questions pinpointing their precise sexual orientations are of painfully acute interest to them. But can't they do this outside of school? I would far rather hear that each member of the 9th grade Algebra II class was able to solve three quadratic equations in their heads than to hear this constant Weltschmerz over sexual preferences among minors. Sheesh!