America: We hereby declare ourselves open to discussions with Iran.
Iran: Excellent. Hey, America...why don't you come a little closer?
America: All right. Is this close enough?
America: Now, the first matter on our agenda is AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHH! I'm crippled by indescribable agony! Why did you do that?
Iran: Do what?
America: You... you just kicked me in the crotch!
Iran: That's one interpretation of events, but History will be the true judge.
America: I can't negotiate with people who kick me in the crotch!
Iran: Surely, America -- the modern colossus, the new Rome, the sole superpower -- can stand to be kicked in the crotch once in a while. Surely, American magnanimity can allow a humble upstart nation a single, one-shot kick to the groin.
America: Well, okay, but promise not to do it again.
Iran: I promise. Come a little closer, why don't you?
America: All right. Now, turning to the AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH! My...God! It burns! It burns with the heat of a thousand suns frying my innards! You broke your promise!
Iran: We understood our promise to be hortatory, rather than binding.