The problem began when city workers removed cypress trees on "bird island" at Lake Eola in Orlando.The trees had to be removed because the bird droppings were polluting the water.
So, you mess with the birds' nesting places and they retaliate:
Now, the birds have moved into the city and are covering anything and anyone between Lake Eola and Central Avenue with droppings.
"You have to brace yourself for the smell," downtown resident James Taylor said. "It is a really bad stench. It is disgusting, absolutely disgusting."
"I was walking the other day and got pooed on walking under these trees," Orlando resident Lisa Valentine said. "Somebody told me it was good luck."
Officials said Orlando city workers pressure wash a stretch of the sidewalk at least twice a week.
Signs with the warning, "Caution -- Entering Bird Dropping Area" were posted Tuesday."
Don't sit on the benches, unless you are very brave," resident Jeff Miller said.
Some people don't let the bird droppings bother them and continue to eat lunch around the droppings."Based on what I saw on that car, I got to believe there is no (expletive) left in them," resident Alex Hartley said.
But the note about the federal law prohibiting the disturbance of the nests comes at the very end of the article. I choked. I mean, I can understand federal laws covering, say, taxation and immigration and such. But birds' nests? Do you see now why "Big Government" is on my list of things I'm against?
My friend, Susan, from Kentucky wrote:
I'm pretty sure it's a federal crime to disturb the nest of any migratory bird, anywhere. In fact, I think this is one of those global things by treaty -- there are probably many countries that protect nests. I think it's rather extreme. Downtown Louisville had a serious problem years ago with black herons. The small country town where I lived for 10 years had a problem with nesting turkey vultures. Locally, an historical church was destroyed by bats in the attic. The church wasn't allowed to displace them.
To which I replied:
I would guess that if this story were written from a protected-species angle then the headline would have been much different. Insted of "Bird Droppings Prompt Orlando Warning Signs" we would have seen "Entire Orlando Maintenance Dept. Under Threat of Federal Indictment".
This is of a piece with all sorts of federal laws – and state laws and local laws – protecting wildlife or natural habitats or wetlands or ecosystems, etc., etc. Sooner or later people are going to rub up against the boundaries of those habitats and when they discover that the laws are rigged to let the animals win, there's going to be trouble.
The Town Crank