Gad! Ted Turner on a roll

I guess if a guy promises to give a billion simoleons to the United Nations we oughta listen to him at least a little. But it's so painful to listen to him! Today he gave the 141st Landon Lecture at Kansas State University. Here is some of what he had to say:

Turner said the situation in Iraq is serious but not hopeless. He raised concerns about global overpopulation, poverty and hunger.

He also called for nuclear disarmament.

He said the U.S. and Russia still have thousands of nuclear weapons pointed at each other on a "hair trigger." He said if he were in charge – making it clear he wasn't and never would be – "we'd be rid of them."

Just like that, eh? I wonder what the Russians will have to say about it? Say! Maybe a well-timed contribution to Vladimir Putin's re-election fund would grease the wheels of disarmament!

He warned that a nuclear war could "kill everything on the planet" and said it could take place in an afternoon.

Well! That was – how shall I put it? – incisive? Pithy? Cogent? Nah! Sophomoric, mundane, and puerile.

Turner said he was afraid someone in power could make the mistake to launch a nuclear war, including President Bush, based on his previous decisions.

"You have to question ... the president on a lot of decisions he's made," Turner said. "He might just think launching those weapons would be a good thing to do. ... He thought Iraq was."

He also has a firm grip on logic: if Bush thought going to war in Iraq was a good idea, he could launch a nuclear strike because that's a good idea. Oh, my word!

Turner said war is an outdated form of diplomacy that has stopped working.

"You would think that we would have learned that in Vietnam," he said.

Need I say more? Clausewitz just had the wrong attitude! Of course, he never experienced Vietnam, which, as everyone knows, is the most important example of war that there has ever been or ever will be.

Turner also said the authority of superpowers of tomorrow will be derived from education, health care, and science and technology. He encouraged the United States to focus it energies on those areas.

And to top it all off, the "authority" of the super powers will be derived from health care. I'm surprised that he forgot to mention day care!

I'm sorry for posting this. I see the error of my ways. I will never post another comment from the pusillanimous Ted Turner ever again.