Monday, November 20, 2006

It isn't possible to parody this

This CBS/AP story out of, where else?, San Francisco, tells of a new method for yearning for global peace:
Two peace activists have planned a massive anti-war demonstration for the first day of winter. But they don't want you marching in the streets. They'd much rather you just stay home.

The Global Orgasm for Peace was conceived by Donna Sheehan, 76, and Paul Reffell, 55, whose immodest goal is for everyone in the world to have an orgasm Dec. 22 while focusing on world peace.

"The orgasm gives out an incredible feeling of peace during it and after it," Reffell said Sunday. "Your mind is like a blank. It's like a meditative state. And mass meditations have been shown to make a change."

The couple are no strangers to sex and social activism. Sheehan, no relation to anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan, brought together nearly 50 women in 2002 who stripped naked and spelled out the word "Peace."

The stunt spawned a mini-movement called Baring Witness that led to similar unclothed demonstrations worldwide.

The couple have studied evolutionary psychology and believe that war is mainly an outgrowth of men trying to impress potential mates, a case of "my missile is bigger than your missile," as Reffell put it.

By promoting what they hope to be a synchronized global orgasm, they hope to get people to channel their sexual energy into something more positive.

The couple said interest appears strong, with 26,000 hits a day to their Web site, www.globalorgasm.org.

"The dream is to have everyone in the world (take part)," Reffell said. "And if that means laying down your gun for a few minutes, then hey, all the better."


Oh, all right! Some of this can be parodied, but it's too easy!

For instance, "mass meditations have been shown to make a change". Yes, grass grows 0.0426% faster during mass meditations.

Or how about "By promoting what they hope to be a synchronized global orgasm, they hope to get people to channel their sexual energy into something more positive." Because otherwise global warming would skyrocket from all of those cigarettes being lit two minutes after the global O!

I suppose the logic behind this is the same as that used by professional football coaches when they enforce curfew before the big game: sexual release decreases drive and agression, right? I just don't see the U. S. military commanders in Iraq buying into this, you know? I'm sure they could get all military personnel to co-ordinate schedules and bring off a divisional O like clockwork ... but, I'll tell you what, them insurgents ain't a gonna lie down on the job and let an opportunity slip away to hit the pig satan devil Americans with their pants down, eh?

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