Thursday, October 28, 2004

Recent commentary: Turnout

What can be done to increase voter turnout?

(published 14-Mar-2004, Appleton Post-Crescent)

Well, we here in Wisconsin could do what California might do: give the vote to 14-year-olds. (California will be its own country by 2050 -- mark my words!) Place a controversial initiative on every ballot: same-sex marriages, money for renovating the Hadzi sculpture, requiring free beer at council meetings, stuff like that. Require mud wrestling during candidate debates. Replace the nice ladies from the League of Women Voters with dancers from BeanSnappers. Allege wide-spread vote fraud and hire a Jimmy Carter look-alike to monitor each polling place. Have a nice tear-off pizza coupon at the bottom of the ballot. Instead of an "I voted" sticker, give away an ice cream cone. A sucker. A dog biscuit. Something. Have a brat fry outside every polling place. Before each election repeal all the laws in a random category -- yeah! Like taxes -- and start fresh afterwards. Or we could require more interesting candidates.

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